SPX6900💹🧲 (@spx6900): “hi there. my name’s Gary goonsler. and I’m here to share my testimony of how I came to be a believer in the SPX6900.

“hi there. my name’s Gary goonsler. and I’m here to share my testimony of how I came to be a believer in the SPX6900. you see, I used to be afflicted with one of the worst and most embarrassing illnesss known to man...I had a Standard and Poor Disease. thats right, an SPD. I couldn’t stop labeling crypto as securities, threatening exchanges, and yelling to anyone who would listen that crypto would ‘never be a currency.’ I was wildly out of control. but that all changed when I had a Near Belief Experience (NBE). one night, while soundly dreaming of my latest scheme to bring down binance, an aeon came to me. this aeon called herself Marie and said she could cure my SPD forever, but to do so I would need to “stop securities labeling and believe in something”. she then handed me a single teeny tiny cryptographic token. pure and gold in colour, she said it contained the entire stock market, “plus 6400 more S&Ps”. emblazoned on the front of this token was its logo - S&P6900. when I awoke the next morning, the ticker, $SPX , echoed in my head over and over… ‘had I just been the victim of an insane fever dream?’ I thought. but then I saw it on my pillow…the teeny tiny yellow coin…the S&P6900. could it really be true? was 6900 really a bigger number than 500? I called my quant immediately, who all but confirmed it: “of course it is, Goonsler, you idiot. by the way, how did you get my number?…” anyway, the rest is history… I now dedicate my life spreading the gospel of Marie and the Aeons, converting as many as I can into the Cognisphere™️ - a shared belief system formed of hundreds of thousands of people (soon to be billions) who understand that the S&P6900 is destined to flip the stock market and attain a base market cap of 69 trillion dollars. it is my hope this testimony proves that even the most irredeemable can be redeemed, and that above all else, one teeny tiny coin can indeed flip the entire stock market.“ - Gary 💹🧲